Today is Mother's Day, and I can't wait any longer to post this.

We are pregnant. Mia is going to have a baby!! We are very excited and called all of our family early so they could tell people at Church. We thought it was a very nice way to say Happy Mother's Day by letting our mother's and Grandmother's know that they are going to have a new generation to dote on very soon. I don't think they will mind.

So the details are few right now, but I will give as many as I can. We are due November 30, 2004. That seems like so far away, but I am sure it will come very quickly. We don't know what the baby is yet, but we do know that the little kiddo is making Mia very sick in the mornings. Especially if she tries to move around too much after eating breakfast. Sigh, such is life I suppose.

At our first appointment with the Doctor, Mia had to get some drawn. She had not been able to keep anything down that morning, and ended up fainting in the office. It was scary at the time, but I was glad that I was there for her. We came home and I decided not to go back into work that day.

We are going to try keeping a photo log of the pregnancy on my main site, check out the progress our little baby is making week by week.

So once again I have failed to keep up with my blog. But, it is never to late to try and change, we will see if I do.

Last week we had a talent show at Church. I read some of my poems there. It is always fun to have the chance to share what I have written because I think that it is fun material. The audience also liked it, though it was hard to hear over the kids running around playing in the ural hall.

Reading my poems has made me realize that I don't do enough writing, I am going to try and start up again. That means more reading and less TV. It also means that I am going to have to be dedicated to it. It can be so easy to just ignore something because it takes effort. You keep ignoring them until you realize that those are the things you would rather be doing, effort or no.

There is so much that the human mind can imagine, I need to tap into it and let it come out.

Another month practically over. I need to get onto my site more often. I haven't done too much with it lately. I tried to make some updates last week though. The navigation works better now, the links all stay in the same place and they all work.

We had some friends come out this weekend and I helped Stewart update his resume and coverletter. I think that the resume and coverletter are a great medium. I enjoy working to make them concise yet informative. Searching for the language that will engage an employer is an interesting battle. You can't get too esoteric with your choice of words but at the same time you want to avoid the mundane. Quite the balance to strike.

Stewart has been looking for a job over the last year without any success. I am interested to know if our updates this weekend bring in any results. He is applying for a political position down in Washington D.C. so I am waiting to hear what kind of response he gets. If it is positive, I might try to do some freelance resume writing. I think that would be an interesting side job.

Speaking of which, I need to put a bit of work into my resume now that I have a new position. I am not going to send it out, but keeping it current is good exercise.

Happy Birthday to ME!!

People have tried to call me old today, but at a spry 27 I feel that I am just getting started in life. I am not worried about feeling old, I have so much left to do with my life.
I am in a good job, I have a good calling in the Church and a beautiful wife. What more could I ask for?

I feel that over the last few years I have done some worthwhile things with my life. I have learned so much from going on a mission, going to college, getting married, traveling around the world, moving to Boston, and working in editing, public relations, and direct marketing. There is so much that I have been able to do that is unique to my experience that I can't help but feel everyone else has missed out. Of course this is an extremely egocentric point of view, but my life has been very good to me.

I am looking forward to the coming year. There are exciting things that are happening and I expect to happen. My sister is getting married in August, as well as my parents coming out to visit. I believe I will be getting a promotion at work this year. And my wife has started working again, so we can afford to keep living in Boston. I am looking forward to all of these. I am looking forward to another great year, full of experiences that no one else will have, full of experiences that I would regret not having.
All in all, I do not feel old but energized to continue living a full, exciting life.

It keeps getting longer and longer between my posts. Part of the reason is that I have been working very hard at my job lately. Last night I did not get home until midnight. However, things are getting better, and I feel encouraged recently that they really want to keep my at work.

I have been feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do each day. I have been vocal about this, not just for myself but for the people I work with also. Just in the last few days my account work has been spread around over a couple of other people. Nothing that will overwhelm them, it was just when it was all on one person.

But, the nice thing recently has been the compliments. I have been complimented from a number of people on how well I have been doing with all of the work that has been piled on me. Amazingly, even when I don't actively involve myself in a particular mailing, I always know something about it, so that if I am asked questions I can at least provide some guidance. I don't know how I keep all the information about so many different jobs in mind, but it has been a very positive experience learning how to juggle so much.

The other thing I like about my job is that I am not afraid to speak up for the group. We had a meeting today about knowing ahead of time if we are going to miss something. Our supervisor then asked if anyone thought it was going to be difficult to know an hour and a half ahead of any deliverable if it was going to be missed. I was the only one that said yes. We had a good discussion using my day as a case study for how to get a handle on this. Later, I was speaking with my supervisor again and she said she liked that I was willing to ask questions, because other people have the same questions but aren't asking them.
This was a nice validation from a previous conversation in which she asked why I felt I could speak for the group.

So, all in all my work life is improving. I am working hard, but enjoying it. And I am learning so much.

Such very sad news today. My wife and I decided that we wanted to get a fish for our house, something to keep her company while I am off at work. So we went to the pet store, bought a little bowl and a Betta fish. We started calling it Mr. Fish, for lack of a better name. But he wouldn't eat and two days later, he died.

We went back to the pet store and asked what we could do to keep a Betta alive. The saleswoman, who was very excited about fish, went through and picked us one she thought would do better. We took him home and called him Isda (the Ilonggo word for fish, we are very creative people). He was active, he was eating, and we thought everything was good.

Then a snowstorm hit overnight and in the morning we had to move him out of our living room. Bettas prefer warm weather and water to live in, and we think that the snow did our second fish in. He never quite recovered after we moved him, he started swimming more sluggishly, stopped eating, and finally died sticking straight up and down.

We are saddened and have decided not to try raising another Betta until summer comes along and we know the water will stay warm enough. We hope that if we can survive the first few months of summer, things will work out. We are still hopeful about adding a fish to our home, but it won't be just yet.

I can't believe that I didn't write a thing while I was alone. I suppose it was because I worked so much during the last two weeks.

But I have to say that I have a new appreciation for how she feels when I am staying late at work. There is nothing worse than being alone in your own home. I don't mind being alone. However, any place in which you are alone, but know that someone is usually with you, makes it even more lonely. I can see why I get planitive phone calls at 5:30 asking when I am going to leave work. I would be calling too.

The lonliest time is 9:30 when you're in your own house. It is late enough that you know no one is coming and you have been there by yourself long enough to want someone to talk to. And yet at the same time, you can't go to bed so early, so you only have more time ahead of you to contemplate your situation.

I am glad that she made it back safely and we are together again.

I am very sad that I will not be with my wife on Valentine's Day. She has gone on vacation with her mother and two siblings.

However, as a Valentine's Day treat, I have updated the mainpage of my Web site with a love poem. No, it is not 'the' love poem, but one that she really likes. I can't remember where I got the inspiration for this poem. I suppose that I should say it was from my wife, but I don't think we were dating at the time I wrote this.

I am fascinated by the hopeless romanticism of William Tell in this poem. His earnest belief that he might one day walk into the basement and find a hole to China waiting to take him to his lover resonates with me. The idealism and complete trust that love will conquer all is becoming especially poignant to me while I am alone.

It's 4:00 a.m. and I can't sleep.

I am hoping that writing will clear my mind and help me slip back into peaceful oblivion for a few hours.

What has been keeping me awake tonight is the very human dichotomy between reality and perception. How difficult it is for us to move past the feelings we get based on what we perceive. How difficult it can be to step outside our egocentric view to look at the broader realities that drive the situations we find ourselves in.
And yet the dichotomy comes into full force when someone who has the bigger picture is so grounded in the reality of all the happenings it includes that they don't overlook the perceptions of other people.
This is coming out poorly without being able to explain the entire situation. I do feel comfortable saying it is work-related, and I want to find a compromise but don't quite know how to approach it.

I am discovering in myself an interesting trait that I didn't know was lurking inside me until recently. I am ambitious. I don't feel this in a self-serving way, but rather I am no longer at ease with letting the world pass me by as it is.
I know that I can be a positive influence on the world around me. I cannot be contented with simply following the status quo. This should not be interpreted that I am looking for change for the sake of change. But when I feel that there is something I can help become better, I feel a moral imperative to step up and attempt the change. I try to avoid being so dogmatic about my views that I force my vision through if I realize it is not for the best.

I feel that I have started taking control of my life. There is one around to do it for me, and now that I have a family of my own, I am the one responsible for guiding it. I cannot simply react or worse passively watch what is happening in my own home. I speak in the present and the future tenses.

Well, I think I have said enough for one night. I don't know if any of this will make sense to me in the morning, but I think it will at least help me fall asleep now.

So much for January.

I can't believe that 2004 just showed up at the doorstep and is already making itself comfortable into February. Just who or what does this year think it is!

The audacity boggles my mind.

But while we are talking about the weather, or at least in my mind if you are going to mention January and February, then you need to mention the cold, if only briefly.

I however, have no intention of being brief.

Having lived in a fair number of places, I feel that I have endured the full range of climates. I was fortunate to spend some time in mild, sunny California but also in blazing, desert California. I lived in the Mediteranean, dry clime of Southern Italy and the bone-drenching humidity of South Korea. I lived in Utah, with no Fall or Spring, just long winters and short summers. I even did an equitorial stint in the Philippines during an El Nino year, it was hot 24 hours a day. And I don't just mean a little hot, I was sweating while I showered!

But living in Boston has to be the hardest yet, or perhaps the immediacy of it overshadows my other experiences. Whatever the case, the two winters that I have spent in Boston are the coldest years of my life. When we arrived, literally the day after we unloaded our truck, we were snowed in for three days. When we finally decided we had had enough, I had to chip an inch of ice off my car. It was like Magic Shell on an ice-cream cone. The entire car was coated, entirely. That was the winter of snow. Every other day we were getting more snow.

This winter has not gotten nearly as much snow. In fact after the first big storm of the season, there hasn't been snow to speak of. But it has been cold. Not just freezing cold, because when the temperature hovers around freezing you get the snow. This has been bitter cold, with air temperatures of 0 degrees Farenheit, and wind chills taking some places down to -80 degrees. You don't want to leave the house it is so cold, but at the same time, staying home isn't much better because the heat all gets sucked right out.

So that is my weather update. Too much cold out here in the East.

I will have to read back over this in July when I will be wishing for a touch of cold weather.