It's 4:00 a.m. and I can't sleep.

I am hoping that writing will clear my mind and help me slip back into peaceful oblivion for a few hours.

What has been keeping me awake tonight is the very human dichotomy between reality and perception. How difficult it is for us to move past the feelings we get based on what we perceive. How difficult it can be to step outside our egocentric view to look at the broader realities that drive the situations we find ourselves in.
And yet the dichotomy comes into full force when someone who has the bigger picture is so grounded in the reality of all the happenings it includes that they don't overlook the perceptions of other people.
This is coming out poorly without being able to explain the entire situation. I do feel comfortable saying it is work-related, and I want to find a compromise but don't quite know how to approach it.

I am discovering in myself an interesting trait that I didn't know was lurking inside me until recently. I am ambitious. I don't feel this in a self-serving way, but rather I am no longer at ease with letting the world pass me by as it is.
I know that I can be a positive influence on the world around me. I cannot be contented with simply following the status quo. This should not be interpreted that I am looking for change for the sake of change. But when I feel that there is something I can help become better, I feel a moral imperative to step up and attempt the change. I try to avoid being so dogmatic about my views that I force my vision through if I realize it is not for the best.

I feel that I have started taking control of my life. There is one around to do it for me, and now that I have a family of my own, I am the one responsible for guiding it. I cannot simply react or worse passively watch what is happening in my own home. I speak in the present and the future tenses.

Well, I think I have said enough for one night. I don't know if any of this will make sense to me in the morning, but I think it will at least help me fall asleep now.